Dream Job

I guess it's fear--
here in this nexus
of praxis
and pistis
of dollars
and sense

in this need
for belonging
and becoming

what will nuzzle me forward?
what will move me into the here and now?
into
days of faithful living
hopeful breathing
nurturing courage
to fly the nest
and shalom
to come home to?

Job update

So, much to my surprise, I've been getting positive responses to some job applications:

~flying to Kansas next weekend (April 23-26) to interview, preach (to children) and teach. It's a full itinerary, confronting some of my biggest fears about preaching and teaching. It should be good experience.

~spoke with a L'Arche rep, need to decide which locations I prefer--Seattle, Syracuse (NY), Iowa, Kansas. Rural or urban? Would like the beauty of nature, but with the convenience and diversity and culture of a city--can I have both? One bummer: I would get a "living stipend" (amount depends on location), which I doubt would give me the oodles of cash I was envisioning (delusioning?) to get financially more on my feet. Also, felt I was rather incoherent in communicating on the phone for the first few questions, which I'm hoping doesn't affect their perception of me too much...

~looked up some stats for Oakland after talking with my stepdad last night--his perception: DANGER CITY, makes south LA look tame. He wants to make sure that I'm aware of what I'm going into, which I need to do...just felt so distracted by the preaching/pastoral thing...results of research? confusing--some residents definitely take pride in beauty/culture/diversity/etc. of Oakland, don't think it's as crime-ridden as portrayed by media, but those voices persist as well online...

Rather exciting to have options, but not sure if it's wise to pursue all these and to continue searching--I guess learning to prioritize and balance...

I'll be traveling two weekends in a row (April 23, May 1), hoping I won't feel too uprooted and off-kilter...

My reading is taking me for a turn

A slight twist on Dillard's wording in An American Childhood...nothing like skillfully crafted words to make you do a double-take:

~Jean Vanier's Becoming Human: similar to aforementioned books, I had picked it up before and hadn't been "taken" by it, but now--after being re-recommended to me, I restarted it and am hooked. Must read. Perhaps because I can relate so much to it right now...

The meaning of life

Wondering about this again...especially when I feel so autonomous...

one solution (to autonomy, not meaning): tell someone what time I turn off the computer so I won't be tempted to click on the next link...and the next...(the "someone" in this case is mom)

another solution (to almost everything): drink water. lots of it. This will help me focus on studying the science CSET. According to mom.

Destination: Oakland; Price: $$ one way; Payoff: Possibly priceless

Apparently, Jet Blue and Southwest are vying for business with such prices...appreciated.

Why am I looking into plane tix for Oakland? Interviewing for a teaching job there in less than a month! May 1, 6 hr long interview. And taking the multiple subject CSET one week later. Planning to check out some church communities as well--should be an experience...

Job-hunting can be such a roller-coaster: intensity in applying for something, wait, perhaps hear nothing, then...something! And then, more waiting...or studying, in this case. Discipline needed.

Waiting to hear RE:
~L'Arche
~Youth pastor job in Kansas: Can I preach? Don't know, haven't tried. Do I want to? Possibly. Not holding my breath on this job, but thought I'd give it a shot...
~a few temp jobs for upcoming elections.

Huh. Not that much--need to apply to more...up the odds...

Don't know why...

but lately, I've been loving listening to the girl groups Wailin' Jennys, particularly "Heaven When We're Home," and The Be Good Tanyas' "The Littlest Birds" . Good stuff.